Cultural Identity
Prep year was a disaster. That’s how I thought of my first year at Hotchkiss. It was a memory that I wanted to repress and forget. But as time passed, and upon reflecting on my experiences at Hotchkiss, I have realized my Prep year was probably the most important and self-realizing experience that I have had at Hotchkiss.
Born in Shanghai to a Chinese mother, I had been exposed to Chinese culture my entire life. Spending summers with my dad’s side of the family in upstate New York, I, however, was constantly questioning where I was from and what values I wanted to uphold: my mom’s Chinese values, or my dad’s American one’s, which frequently contradicted. As a fourteen year old prep who had never gone to school in the United States, I felt an immediate urge to associate myself with a single affinity group. Why? Because Hotchkiss, while diverse, is incredibly segregated as a result, because people fail to embrace diversity. In the “classic” high school setting you have archetypal affinity groups: the jocks, the nerds, and then the in-betweeners. When you increase the diversity in a community, the number of affinity groups increase dramatically. Now instead of the jocks, and the nerds, you have the Lacrosse team, the musicians, the math team, the kids from China, the Koreans, the preppy kids from New England, students of color, and many other groups based on ethnicity, or interests. I’m not saying that these groups are detrimental to a community, in fact there are many benefits to including and exposing yourself to the multitude of diversity at Hotchkiss. The problem lies within students who are unwilling or afraid to associate themselves with multiple affinity groups.
I was caught up in the exclusivity of one affinity group over the other. I wanted to fit in with the predominantly white, preppy student body that encompassed the school and its New England culture, and in doing so abandoned my Chinese heritage and background that was a large part of who I was. I disassociated myself with asian students, even with Hotchkiss students who I had gone to school with in Shanghai. It was my impression that my Hotchkiss social status rested upon the dichotomy of being perceived as the “cool asian who doesn’t act like a regular asian”, and “just another asian kid” that plagued my Prep experience and constantly caused me to question my self worth. It was only when I garnered self-confidence and self-respect that I could see through my misconceptions, and learn to embrace and express myself as more than just a one-dimensional student.
I see younger kids who arrive at Hotchkiss, and, like me suffer an identity crisis early on. Their identity crisis, on a broader scale, fundamentally stems from their impressions that they must conform to one affinity group, or that one affinity group might be more popular or exclusive than another. The result is once multidimensional students comprising their interests and beliefs to conform to one-dimensional affinity groups. To fully benefit from Hotchkiss’ diverse community we must do away with factitious notions of exclusivity, and embrace and expose ourselves to the diverse and interesting community of Hotchkiss with an open mind.
PC: Naomy Pedroza
