Sunrise Part III: Dawn

I had experienced adversity and loss before, but nothing even close to that level of pain. I hate to admit it, but I was depressed. Extremely depressed. Actually, I probably still am depressed. But now, I accept that. I’m tired of the numbness, I’m tired of letting everything pass me by, I’m tired of projecting the façade, I’m tired of the subtle hints I used as feeble cries for help, but from now on, I am alive again. From now on, I’m going to work every second at beating depression. From now on, I am happy. From now on, I follow David’s life motto, to “Lead… for GOD’s sake!” From now on, I am a better friend, a better student, a better boyfriend, and a better son. From now on, I am the man I used to wish of being. From now on, I’m going to live in the moment. It’s going to be a challenge, that’s for damn sure. Could I fail? Yes. Will I? No. Will I need help? Undoubtedly yes. I’m going to need to relearn to socialize again, to not be afraid of group interactions, and to generally live without the fear of failure that is so polarizing.

To anyone else experiencing anything similar to what I went through, do not, please do not follow my example. Seek help early on from the Counseling office, from your advisor, a teacher, a close friend, or me. But do not take it alone. To those of you who are not, have never gone through, or never experienced feelings like this: please be conscious that despite what you see on the surface, you never truly know what someone could be going through. Do your best to truly be there for your friends and sympathize when they open up to you.

In closing, I am awake, I am alive, and I am extremely blessed. I will make the most out of this life, in honor of David Michael Bacon Jr.